or for worse?!?!

I have now finished my ten days of Provera (meant to slap my uterus around to allow myself to have a cycle) and let me just say...my poor husband.

Provera made me a weepy, tender boobed version of myself that could cry at a light breeze or bitch with as little as blinking too much.

It amuses me how the things we do to try and have a baby make me pretty darn hard to be close to. We have approached trying to get pregnant with the attitude that we didn't want to become THAT couple who schedules sex, or only has sex to try and have a baby (we consciously battle that) but with getting serious about light medical intervention, its hard to remain completely fun and spontaneous anymore. Sex has always been fun and adventurous for us...the knowledge that my boobs are sore or that I am about to potentially have the worst cycle ever is such a turnoff.

I need to try even harder to control my emotions at the very least and to focus on making sure my better half remembers how much I adore him.


Coming from my childhood where my dad resented my mom for being a stay at home mom and for everything she did, I always make sure Michael is on the same page as me...I am so incredibly over aware of what can happen if two people are not on the same page so I tend to ask Michael on a quarterly basis if he still feels the same way...Yes, yes, yes. I know in my heart he will be an amazing father but when you see the repercussions of a resentful and angry dad, I vow to not bring that upon my children just because I want to be a mom. I can not claim ignorance because of my own awareness and the fact that my mother has drilled it in to me. So there is absolutely no excuse.

I am ever so thankful for being lead to Michael and for the huge heart that man has. I am blessed and our children will be as well.